The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Even my vagina gasped.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
