I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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