you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
