CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
