She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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