the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
