Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
