Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
