Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
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