Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
