whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
