I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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