Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry FMLdownunder hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting

Fav 2 968 1082
share tweet
(414): View more from Wisconsin

fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter

Fav 15 1342 4771
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.

Fav 4 1292 3386
share tweet
(909): View more from California

If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?

Fav 14 1288 4457
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned

Fav 14 3100 1826
share tweet
(563): View more from Iowa

Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.

Fav 6 3690 1031
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(469): View more from Texas

Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf

Fav 6 1735 956
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?

Fav 1 272 132
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(763): View more from Minnesota

He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".

Fav 0 9 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT