no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize