Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
