at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
