Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
