I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
