Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize