Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
