As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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