Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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