Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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