She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
