Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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