Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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