How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
