that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
