I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
