I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
