I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
two words: eviction party
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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