Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
