My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
