In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
