I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
