I think i peed on brittanys purse
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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