ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
