I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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