I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
