if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
