as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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