How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
