these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize