my sisters under your porch take her home
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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