fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
