He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
