to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
