He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize