she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
