lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
