Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
