I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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