.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
