haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
