Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
