Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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