I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
